Since You Been Gone
by Waistcoat-Dave
Summary: A Bechloe love story with a plot focused on grief and loss. I shall be posting this in installments.
1. Chapter 1

Since You Been Gone

It was Autumn, a season of contrasting beauty and melancholy. A season where the crisp brown leaves flutter through the air like birds, a season where nature is in a perpetual state of decay. Chloe Beale walked through the graveyard clutching a bouquet of flowers to her chest. She was wearing a coat as black as a raven's feather. She wore a black beanie hat that was pulled down tightly to protect her ears from the bitter cold that raged around her. She stopped walking and turned to face the grave, she kneeled down, removed the last bouquet of flowers that she had left there and replaced them with the fresh new flowers. She put the dead flowers into a plastic bag that she would dispose of later and stuffed it into her coat pocket. She removed one of the black gloves she was wearing and ran her bare hand down the grave stone, her fingers brushing lightly over the lettering carved into the stone. A single crystal clear tear ran slowly down her cheeks, which were red with the bitter cold. She removed the tear with a finger and got to her feet, she smiled at the grave stone and walked away, she didn't need to say a word. On her way out of the graveyard she removed the plastic bag from her coat pocket and threw it into a rusting metal bin.

Chloe left through the large rust-coated gates that creaked when they were pushed open. The red head walked up to a small blue car, unlocked it and got in. She rested her hands on the steering wheel and stared off into the distance thinking over everything that had happened over the last year. The memories flooded her mind like water bursting through a dam and Chloe broke down into tears. She just sat there, her hands clasping the steering wheel and shedding streams of tears. When the tears had subsided, Chloe was unaware of how much time had passed but she was aware of the streaks of mascara that ran down her face. She wiped her hands across her face, removing most of the mascara, which led to the palm of her hands being covered in black smudges.

"Come on Chloe, be strong. It's been twelve months now, move on." Chloe said sternly, glaring at herself in the rear view mirror. She inhaled deeply and exhaled heavily as her grief counsellor had taught her to do and instantly she felt a wave of calm wash slowly over her. She started the car, the engine purring into life like a lethargic cat, slowly waking from a long nap, she pulled onto the road and headed home.

Chloe stood in the elevator, humming along to the repetitive tune crackling through the tinny speakers. There was a ding and the doors rattled open and Chloe stepped out into the corridor and walked briskly to the door of her apartment. She inserted the key into the lock, turned it and walked into her apartment closing the door softly behind her. Chloe removed her coat, hanging it upon the hook on the back of the door and she placed her bag on the coffee table before collapsing into a chair.

The bathroom door opened and Beca walked out, a towel wrapped around her body, and her long brown hair was clinging to her back, utterly soaked. She saw Chloe sitting in the chair and jumped slightly.

"Oh Chloe, you're back! I didn't hear you come in." Beca said, a distinct note of surprise in her voice. Chloe looked up at her girlfriend and smiled.

"Hi Beca! I am so disappointed in you." Chloe said, her tone switching from perkiness to disapproval. Beca looked surprised and crestfallen.

"Why are you disappointed in me?" she asked, folding her arms defensively.

"I'm disappointed because you took a shower without me!" Chloe said, unable to keep a straight face and breaking down into laughter. Beca started laughing as well and she continued laughing as she went into her room to dry herself off and get changed. Chloe sat in the chair for a few minutes, twiddling her thumbs before boredom overtook her and she decided to follow Beca into her room. The red head entered Beca's room and shut the door behind her with a soft click. Beca spun around as she finished buttoning up her shirt and smiled.

"Couldn't bear to be away for five minutes." Beca said teasingly, walking slowly up to Chloe and kissing her gently on the lips. She ran her hands through the beautiful red hair that she loved so much and she felt her fingers brush over something papery. She pulled out a brown leaf that had fallen from one of the trees in the cemetery and had become lodged in Chloe's hair. Beca's face turned serious.

"Beca, what's wrong?" Chloe asked, worry sneaking into her voice like a mouse sneaking into a larder. Beca looked up and held the leaf out in front of Chloe.

"Did you go to the cemetery again today?" Beca asked, her voice taking on an interrogative nature. Chloe's eyes welled up.

"I had too, Beca. You know it's something I need to do, for closure. My grief counsellor said…" Chloe began, but Beca held up a hand and she stopped talking instantly.

"I don't care what your grief counsellor said, you know I don't like being around you when you've been to the cemetery. It un-nerves me a lot! I'm going to go and clear my head; I need a few moments alone. I think we both do." Beca said, rushing past Chloe and leaving the room. Chloe stood stock still for a few moments and then left Beca's room and entered the main body of the apartment, which was completely empty. Beca had left the apartment altogether leaving Chloe alone with her thoughts. The red head walked slowly over to the coffee table and picked up her mobile, scrolled through her contacts and found Beca's number and hit the dial button. Chloe waited for the dial tone and as soon as it began she could hear a phone ringing in Beca's room. Once again, the headstrong brunette had left her phone behind.

Chloe decided that if she was going to be alone she may as well do something productive. She scrolled through her contacts until she found the number of her grief counsellor and she hit the call button. A dial tone sounded in her ear and after a few rings her call was answered.

"Hello?" The voice belonged to an elderly man, who Chloe guessed was in his early seventies.

"Hello Dr Stamford. Could I book an appointment with you on Wednesday at ten o'clock?" Chloe asked politely. There was silence at the end of the line as Dr Stamford flicked through his appointments book.

"You're in luck, I have a free slot at ten o'clock, so I'll mark you in. What's your name?" Dr Stamford asked.

"Chloe Beale, I had weekly meetings with you up until two months ago." Chloe said, disappointed that he'd forgotten her so quickly.

"Ah yes, Miss Beale. I remember you from your previous sessions, I was rather hoping I would never have to see you again." Dr Stamford said sadly. Chloe sighed with resignation.

"I know. I was hoping I'd never have to see you again, but it's happening again and it's gradually getting worse." Chloe said forlornly, her hands quivering as she came to terms with a truth that she had been denying for weeks.

"Oh dear, I was hoping you would have moved past that phase." Dr Stamford said, pity in his voice.

"I was hoping that too." Chloe said, her voice barely audible, hanging up the phone. She went into her own room and collapsed on the bed and looked up at the ceiling and she slowly fell asleep as cold waves of dread and despair washed over and submerged her.


	2. Chapter 2

Since You Been Gone

Chapter 2

It was 11:30 by the time Chloe Beale left Dr Stamford's office. She had turned up for her appointment at 10 o'clock on the dot and she had stayed for an hour and a half, talking with the doctor about everything that was happening in her tempestuous life. She left no stone unturned in her mind as she unburdened herself completely, she talked about her gradual detachment from the rest of the Barden Bellas, the grief of losing a dear friend and of course she talked about Beca. The doctor had listened attentively to her problems, analysing them in his mind and at the end of their meeting he offered Chloe some pieces of advice.

_Create a routine for yourself and stick to it_

_Try and get back into the world, don't stay confined to your apartment_

Chloe left the warm building and instantly regretted it, because as soon as she left the building the cold wrapped itself around her. She walked quickly down the street, feeling the cold air gnawing at her cheeks, making them turn red very quickly. Chloe saw a near empty deli across the road and dashed inside in an attempt to escape the cold. As soon as she was through the door she felt the cold creep away from her as the pleasant heat held her in a tender embrace. She went to the counter and ordered a toasted Panini and coffee from a boy of about 19 with short scruffy blond hair and vacant expression on his face. She handed over the correct amount of money exactly, took her sandwich and her cup of coffee and sat in an unoccupied booth right at the back of the room. From here she would be able to see everyone who walked through the door before they saw her. As she sat in the booth, taking a tentative sip of scalding hot coffee a familiar figure walked through the door. Chloe gasped quietly as Aubrey Posen made her way to the counter.

The two girls had not been in contact for months, maybe even a year and now it looked as if the two might be reunited at last. Chloe was astonished, of all the places Aubrey could have gone to for a drink and she decided to walk into the one where Chloe was sitting in the back wrapped in a cocoon of isolation. Aubrey paid for her coffee and allowed the 19 year old to keep the change. As the former leader of the Barden Bellas looked around, deciding where to sit Chloe thrust her hand into the air and waved. The waving caught Aubrey's attention and when she looked up and saw Chloe, her face lit up and she rushed over.

"Chloe, I can't believe it's you! After all this time and we just happen to bump into each other in a coffee shop. We haven't seen each other for such a long time. How have you been holding up?" Aubrey asked, her question filled with polite curiosity and also concern. Chloe took a breath that shuddered a couple of times as she tried to collect her thoughts.

"I've been great." Chloe said. This was a lie and Aubrey knew it, if Chloe had been telling the truth then she would have smiled. Instead of smiling, Chloe had looked into her cup, staring at her reflection in the coffee.

"Don't lie to me about this, Chloe. You know I'm always here for you and if there is ever something going wrong in your life, then I'm more than happy to try and help." Aubrey said kindly, gently resting a hand on top of Chloe's. They're eyes met and they both sensed tenderness in the other's eyes as they remembered how close they had been when they were co-leaders of the Barden Bellas.

"It's Beca." Chloe said quietly looking down at her coffee, not wanting to see Aubrey's reaction. When she finally plucked up the courage to look up she saw the sadness in Aubrey's eyes as tears ran freely down her face, as her bottom lip quivered ever so slightly.

"Oh Chloe, I didn't realise Beca was the cause of the problem." Aubrey said quietly.

"Beca isn't the cause of the problem, she _is _the problem. She's gradually been getting clingier and clingier" Chloe said, feeling her heart shatter like a precious vase as she found herself telling Aubrey that Beca was a problem part of her life. She loved Beca with every fibre of her being, but for the past year she had felt smothered by her brunette girlfriend. She needed space to breath.

"Have you tried letting her know how you feel? Sometimes that is the best solution." Aubrey asked, kindness in her voice and sympathy in her eyes. Chloe said nothing and finished her coffee and sat in silence as thoughts swarmed in her mind like an irate pack of bees. After much thought one clear thought formed in Chloe's mind, she knew what she had to do, Aubrey was right. Chloe got to her feet.

"Aubrey, it was great to see you again and we do need to have a roper catch up session soon, but right now I need to take care of a few things. Tell Stacie I said hi." Chloe said hurriedly as she rushed out of the café. Aubrey watched the fiery red head leave and turned back to half empty cup of coffee.

When Chloe got back to her apartment, she opened the door and walked in to see Beca lying on the sofa reading Chloe's copy of "The Great Gatsby". Beca relinquished her hold on the book and leapt to her feet rushing to meet Chloe. She frowned when she saw the forlorn look on her girlfriend's face.

"Chloe, what's wrong?" Beca asked, troubled by the great sadness that was clearly weighing heavily on Chloe's mind. She sighed heavily in response to Beca's question, sat down in one of the chairs, buried her face in her hands and burst into tears that flowed uncontrollably, a tsunami of emotion spilling through the gaps between her fingers. Beca looked severely worried and put a gentle and supportive hand on Chloe's shoulder at which point Chloe found her voice.

"We need to talk." Chloe managed to say, locking eyes with Beca, whose concerned expression turned to a grimace.

"Oh." She murmured.


	3. Chapter 3

Since You Been Gone

Chapter 3

Beca stood stock still, her eyes full of fear, panic and worry as she looked at the girl standing before her. Chloe was scowling at her, fists clenched at her sides and her hair looking like a raging inferno more than ever.

"Chloe, what's wrong?" Beca asked quietly, reaching out a hand towards Chloe's shoulder. The redhead swatted the hand away angrily.

"Don't touch me!" She yelled, causing Beca to take a few steps back, tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn't believe what she was hearing from her girlfriend and yet in a strange way she had always known that this day would come. But, she just wasn't ready for this to happen, not yet.

"Chloe, please don't do this." Beca said, her voice broken and quavering as tears rolled down her face. Chloe saw the hurt in Beca's eyes and she could feel her very soul shattering, but she knew she had to push on regardless, she had to do this.

"I can't go on living this way Beca! It's tearing me apart, my mind is breaking in two, I can't focus on anything anymore. You can't stay here anymore, I don't want to blame you, but everything that is going wrong is because of you!" Chloe said, started to sob uncontrollably. Beca sat down heavily on one of the chairs in the kitchen and rested her head in her hands.

"You know it's been hard for me too. Ever since the crash, I haven't been able to move on." Beca said, her voice muffled by sobs. Chloe looked at Beca incredulously and thought back to exactly a year ago to the day of the catastrophic crash.

_Beca, Chloe, Amy and Cynthia-Rose sat in the back of the car while Stacie and Aubrey sat up front. Aubrey had asserted herself as driver, which was fair because the car did belong to her and Stacie had quickly called shotgun, so she could sit next to her beloved girlfriend. In the back of the vehicle Chloe and Beca had spent most of the trip in each-other's arms, exchanging romantic kisses that were as delicate as a Ming vase and as sweet as an apple pie. For most of the journey Cynthia Rose and Amy had exchanged nervous glances at each other, which always ended in them looking away, smiling and blushing deeply. They had even held hands for a few tentative moments, but there had been no obvious sign of them being an item. Stacie looked at her watch and gasped._

"_Aubrey, it's six thirty!" she yelped and Aubrey shrieked._

"_Oh crap, we have to be there in fifteen minutes! You might want to hold on back there, things are about to get very "Fast and Furious"! Brace yourselves!" Aubrey shouted over and slammed her foot down on the accelerator and the car shot forward at what can only be described as breakneck speed. The car was hurtling along at a speed that was almost certainly illegal. However, what Aubrey hadn't considered when gunning the engine was that there had been a recent cold snap and while there was no snow on the roads that didn't mean the roads were safe. In fact, there was an un-noticeable danger on the road that night, black ice. The car was travelling at such a high speed that when the rapidly turning wheels came into contact with the ice, the whole vehicle spun wildly. Aubrey was frantically spinning the wheel trying to regain control of the car and failing, Stacie was screaming, Chloe and Beca were clinging to each other for dear life and Cynthia-Rose and Amy were clinging to each other screaming in uncontrollable fear. The car hurtled across the black ice, hit the barrier at the edge of the road, smashed through it and flew through the air. All was still for a few precious seconds before the car crashed into the ground, bouncing and rolling before coming to a complete stop. The car was a mangled wreck and a fire had sprung into life, no doubt a result of the crash. _

_The girls got out of the car as quickly as possible, making it out just as the fire grew in stature, engulfing the car in flames. Aubrey couldn't see very well due to being disorientated and the fact that the flames were so bright._

"_Okay everybody, when I call out your name I want you to confirm that you are here. Chloe?" Aubrey said, sounding like a teacher on a school trip._

"_Here." Chloe replied._

"_Amy?"_

"_Here!" Amy called loudly._

"_Cynthia-Rose?"_

"_Here!" Cynthia-Rose said, in between kissing Amy's cheek._

"_Stacie?"_

"_Here." Stacie called out._

"_Beca?" Aubrey said, calling out the name of the only passenger unaccounted for, but no response came._

"_Beca, are you here?" Chloe shouted, panic and desperation creeping into her voice. There was still no response. The girls had all regained their sight, their eyes adjusting to the glare of the flames. They all looked around quickly and realised in collective horror that Beca was nowhere to be seen. Chloe was distraught, but she was not going to let her girlfriend die in a car wreck. She ran towards the car, but just as she got near to it, the whole petrol tank ignited and there was a colossal explosion, which released a shockwave that lifted Chloe off of her feet and threw her backwards._

_All of the girls looked at the wreckage in horror, there was no way anyone could have survived such an explosion and the flames were roaring louder than a lion and were enveloping the car in a fist of flame. Chloe began to cry, she felt utterly hopeless and alone. She had lost the one thing she had truly loved and cherished, her girlfriend, her titanium girl, her Beca was dead. Just as Chloe was about to descend into a psychological pit of infinite despair and melancholy she felt a gentle hand rest on her shoulder. Chloe looked up and through her tears she saw Beca smiling down at her. Squeaking with joy Chloe leaped to her feet and wrapped her arms around Beca, squeezing her tightly._

"_I thought you were dead!" Chloe sobbed, her tears flowing down her cheeks and onto Beca's shoulder._

"_Don't talk such nonsense Chloe. You know that I will never leave you." Beca said, whispering the words into Chloe's ears. The rest of the girls looked on incredulously at the scene in front of them. Chloe remained oblivious to this as she was happy to have Beca in her arms once more._

"I can't live like this anymore, every time I see you, I think back to that crash. I need you out of my life, I need to move on." Chloe said sadly. Beca stood up and walked past Chloe to the door of their apartment, just before she walked out the door, she turned around.

"Chloe, I know you don't want me in your life right now, but I want you to know that if you ever need me, I will not hesitate to be by your side."

"Thank you Beca, I really appreciate it." Chloe said, and she watched as Beca walked out of their apartment and shut the door behind her. Chloe walked into her bedroom and lay upon the bed looking up at the ceiling, wondering if she had done the right thing. She regretted that she had been so harsh in her attempt to get Beca to leave, but she knew that Beca understood that Chloe hadn't had a proper chance to move on since the crash. Seeing Beca's face every day since meant that Chloe was consistently having a recurring nightmare where Beca hadn't made it out of the crash alive. All as Chloe needed was for Beca to give her a few months space in which Chloe could put the horrors of the crash behind her and reclaim her life. After that, she would be fine, or at last she hoped so.

Six months later Chloe had gained a new lease of life, she had stopped needing to visit Dr Stamford and she had finally got in contact with all the friends that she had been neglecting for the past year. Cynthia-Rose and Amy were now in a relationship, which was a piece of news that had shocked everyone who heard it. The Barden Bellas had reformed as a freelance group that were soon to begin a tour across all the dive bars in America in order to chase their dream of hitting the big time.

The Bellas were going to be leaving on their road trip tour on the Friday, so Chloe decided to visit the cemetery on the Thursday to put some fresh flowers down at the grave. It was the least she could do before she left. She kneeled down before the gravestone and placed the fresh flowers into the vase set into the base of the headstone. A single tear fell down her cheek as she ran her fingers delicately over the inscription.

"Thank you so much for letting me move on." Chloe said to the headstone, her eyes scanning the inscription:

_Beca Mitchell_

_Wonderful daughter, beautiful girlfriend, devoted friend, enchanting singer_

_Taken too soon_

Chloe left the cemetery and walked down the street humming the tune to "Everytime" by Britney Spears to herself. Chloe never found out whether Beca's presence in their apartment was her grief stricken mind imagining that her girlfriend was still alive or whether Beca's love for Chloe was so intense that her spirit had been unable to cross over. All as Chloe knew for certain was that Beca was no longer a part of her life and now that she had accepted that fact she could begin to live her life to the full once more.

_Fin_


End file.
